Forever young.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace in pieces."

Islam and Homosexuality

“Dear kid bullying the only openly gay boy in class: I dare you to lay a finger on him. Sincerely, the linebacker with two amazing dads.”

    *****DISCLAIMER: Before anyone wants to jump to any conclusions, I am not writing this because I am a homosexual. This article also concentrates more on gay relationships (man and man) and Abrahamic religions. This article also has adult material. I am not stating my opinion as truth, but it is merely my point of view. This article also contains information and research material that explains why I think a certain way. I DO NOT MAKE MY OWN INTERPRETATIONS, THESE ARE COMPILED FROM BOOKS AND ARTICLES THAT I HAVE READ. Again, I am not saying I am right about this topic. i am not enforcing my beliefs onto anyone. When opinions clash over a certain topic, always leave it up to God to judge. As long as we stay true to Him and are kind to His creations, may God be with us all. Wallahualam, and assalammualaikum. Please read with an open heart.

The topic of homosexuality has long been discussed and debated in this world. There are as many anti-LGBT movements as there are that are in support of it. It’s hard to find someone who is on the fence about the topic; you’re either against or with gay marriage. It becomes much harder on a gay individual when his personal sexual orientation is being questioned along with his belief in God. Be it Islam, Christianity, Jewish or any religious body, any time an adherer admits to liking the same gender, remarks are being thrown and during worst cases, are thrown out of the family. Classical views say that any Abrahamic religion considers homosexuality unnatural and a sin, a practice or feeling that defies practical reason.

There has been many debates as to whether someone chooses to be gay or were being born that way. But considering the amount of hate and ridicule a gay person has to face, why would someone choose to be gay? Why would someone choose to be gay, but then hide in the closet and refuse to let known his sexual orientation? If choosing your sexual orientation was as easy as ABC, there probably would not be any gay people in the world.

Just like racism and sexism, no matter how hard people try to stop it, homophobia, or rather, ridiculing gay people, will never cease. What we can do, however, is to be more compassionate over a person’s way of life, and try to study the reasons behind why they are the way they are. Sometimes, it’s a choice. Other times, they were born that way. Psychological factors may also affect a person’s upbringing.

Cases against same-sex marriage

anti-gay-signsEverywhere around the world, there are people who are against same sex marriages. From a constitutional point of view, many states in America still have gay people trying to fight for their rights to get married and settle down with the one that they love.

Below are some of the reasons why people are against same sex relationships or marriage.

  • “The correct definition of “marriage” is “between a man and a woman”! Those that hate God and love disobeying all they can, even laws, are only trying to find a way to make themselves feel better by renaming their very sinful and in most places “illegal” acts. Since homosexuals have not believed in God, they have never even felt being “In love” as it really feels! Just what they would like to imagine what it may be like. As the Bible states this and that anyone that is homosexual are only that way because THEY decided to be so. And are against God! “Followers of the Devil.”
  • “I would say that I am against same sex marriages due to the highly increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Homosexual men run very high risk of disease, couple this with any type of bisexuality behavior and vectors for the spread of HIV, hepatitis A, B, C, syphilis, and gonorrhea become painfully obvious. As with all people involved in sexual behavior, promiscuity leads to the spread of diseases, the breakup of stable relationships, and the creation of unwanted/illegitimate children.”
  • “Because it promotes homosexual sex, and THAT is the sin. It’s really no different than a married man wanting to have sex with someone besides his wife. It’s not necessarily a sin to naturally want it, it’s a sin to DO it. If someone is gay and wants to hang out with other gay members, fine. But as soon as they have sex, they’ve crossed the line. Marriage is an allowance of that very thing.”
  • “Because being gay is not something that is supposed to happen. No animals are gay. Or else they would die out. We are made to love people of the opposite sex, to reproduce. That is the point of life.”
  • “Because man is created for woman. Biology tells me.”
  • “Marriage is so much more than a ritualistic union. It is a covenant bond between one man and one woman before God, that places God in the center of the marriage, that seeks to glorify God as it is fulfilled, follows God’s leading, and is sanctified by His grace. It is each spouse surrendering to the other spouse in complete selfless love and it is day to day growth and enrichment, encouragement, support, harmony and joy. That which I describe is not, and cannot be truly found in a homosexual union.”

As we can see from the reasons above, most people are against same sex marriage due to the fact that religion forbids it, even as far as generalizing all homosexuals as people who have never believed in God.

Cases in support of same-sex marriages

As much as there are people who are against it, there are many people who are in support on gay marriages. The perception has one been made that those who are in support of gay marriages are “secretly” gay, when in reality, even the most heterosexual people can be diehard supporters of same-sex marriages.

Below are some of the reasons why people support same-sex marriages.

  • “People aren’t defined by the gender they love but who they are. Gay or straight, people are defined by their personality. So I support gay marriage as much as I support straight marriage.”
  • “I actually want to wring the necks of some people on here. Right, if “God” didn’t want man and man or woman and woman to be together then why did he make them fall in love? According to you lot, God controls everything so he controls who people love. And so what if it’s not in the bible? You lot need to get off your high horse and look at the people in this world. Everyone needs love so what if it’s found in the same gender? Think about how much you love your partner and think about the people you are discriminating. They love their partner the same amount so shouldn’t they be entitled to that love? You lot make me sick to my stomach. Great people like Oscar Wilde were gay. Why treat them any different?”
  • “I am straight and have been married for 37 years and raised 3 sons and 1 daughter all straight. I do support gay marriage. The reason I do is because I feel they should have the same rights as everyone else. They should be allowed to have the same kind of relationship that my husband and I have had all these years. They should be able to know that if one were really ill and in ICU that their spouse could come visit them. They should be able to leave their money to their loved one without that person having to pay an inheritance tax.”
  • “People have to remember that it was not God that wrote the Bible, it was man. God created all living things and he loves all living things. He created gay people and he loves them the same as he loves everyone else. Gay is not a choice. Gay people are born with different hormones than straight people. But they are still loved by God. How could you say you’re a Christian or a Jew or whatever religion and not believe that God loves all of his creations?”
  • “I must confess when I was a lot younger I was homophobic without a doubt – I despised them, in hindsight without a valid reason. But as I have matured and been exposed to some gay people I have definitely changed my attitude and definitely support gay marriages – they certainly have the same rights as anyone else. “Live and let live” – who are we to judge?”
  • “Yes I do. Because I have a lot of gay friends & it’s frustrating to see couples that have been committed to each other that long without having any recognition or rights. They are good people. They’re in long term relationships. I completely don’t understand why they have to be seen as outcasts.”
  • “Yes. I love my dads. It would be nice not to see prejudice towards them. They are my heroes.”

There are people backing up their hatred against homosexuality by saying that God hates it, while there are people backing up their support for homosexuality by saying that God loves all his creations, despite who they are. These contradicting statements have been the topic of debate for a long time.

Does God accept, or condemn those who are homosexual?Stop_Violence_GLBT_Borderstan-580x414

Misconceptions about gay men

From what we read from “Cases against same-sex marriage”, there are people who think that all homosexuals who don’t believe in God. From my own personal experience, I have had gay friends who are extremely pious and execute their 5 daily prayers more consistently than heterosexual men.

Just recently, I discovered upon a video of Indonesia’s transsexual Muslims. These ladies (originally men) have come to a point in their life where they wanted to change for the better, and have decided to seek spiritual help. Transsexuals are looked down upon, and naturally, it was hard for them to be accepted into religious schools, thus they decided to make one for their own. These ladies thirst for spiritual truth and were very passionate in being closer to God.

Although this article focuses more on orientation than sex-change, I just thought that video is relevant. If a transgender can have passion for religion, why not a homosexual man? To assume that just because they harbor feelings for the same sex, they disbelieve in God, is ignorant. Sinning does not make you any less of an adherer of a religion.

A lot of the disgusting ideas people get about gay people are due to misconceptions that have been floating around. Social media have made it seem like all gay people are under one umbrella, sharing the same lifestyle and the same practices. When we watch TV, we see gay couples who practice anal sex, or gay people going to dodgy gay bars to pick up cheap gay prostitutes and many more. These stories make it seem like all gay men are the same. But are they really? There is no such thing as a “gay lifestyle”, just like there is no such thing as a “straight lifestyle” either. There are many different diverse ways of life, and if someone happens to be gay, it’s not a lifestyle, but an orientation.

Here are some myths about gay people that need to be cleared up:

1. Gay people are promiscuous

People have this general view that all gay men have flings, even when in a relationship, that they can’t stay committed to just one person and just need sexual relations with more than one person. This is of course, false.

Gay people are only as promiscuous as heterosexual people, and if committed, are as loyal as any heterosexual person. People are not promiscuous because they are of a certain orientation. They are promiscuous because they just are, regardless of being straight or gay. In fact, personally, I myself know of gay couples that are more committed to each other than most straight couples are.

In fact, most gay men would prefer to be emotionally committed, before they choose to be sexually involved with one another.

2. All gay men practice anal sex

This is one of the most common misconceptions. I have to admit, even I thought this way once. Because we think to ourselves, “In heterosexual couples, the man penetrates the vagina. In same-sex relationships, what else can the man penetrate if not the back?” This idea is inseparable from the gay community, and some even think all gay men can’t live without it.

However, there are indeed many gay people who are disgusted with the very idea of anal sex due to the uncleanliness and risk of diseases that may come with it. So how do gay people who don’t practice anal sex, go about doing it? There are many different ways; intercrural sex, frottage or mutual masturbation. No penetration, but the effects are the same.

Someone even asked me, “How can you be in love with someone for so long, but not feel the need to consummate?” As for me, I think of it this way; when a gay couple chooses not to practice anal sex, they make do and are probably okay with the mutual agreement. It’s not about the penetration, but more about releasing sexual tension. Emotional bonds should not supersede sexual tensions.

A question most frequently asked to gay men would be “Are you a top or a bottom?” It is a patriarchal view that all relationships should have a penetrator and penetratee. Simply not true.

Being gay aside, anal sex is not something people practice because they are gay. There are many heterosexual males and females who practice anal sex. It’s not something that comes with the orientation.

3. Gay people don’t believe in God

As opposed to this misconception, from the video above, and from my personal experiences, many gay men are indeed adherers to a religion and are not atheists. Some people assume that all gay men don’t believe in God because they commit a sin of falling in love with another man. If sinning makes you a disbeliever of God, then I’m sure many of us are not part of a religion right now.

Many gay men worship God and some even pray more religiously than straight men. They have every right to freedom of religion as much as any human being. It does not make them any less of a person only because of their orientation. To assume they’re a disbeliever only because they commit a sin is ignorant. They cannot help who they feel attracted to, but this still does not sway their belief and love in God.

4. Gay men are effeminate

Ricky-MartinThere are masculine women and effeminate straight men, so why should we categorize all gay men as effeminate? Just because it’s easier to tell a gay man by the way he acts does not mean that all gay men act the same. There are indeed masculine men who are gay. You wouldn’t know he is if he didn’t tell you! Being effeminate is not something that comes with who you fall in love with.

MIYAVI+myvEven though one is related to the other, it should not be a determining factor. Also, just because someone looks like a girl or is a little soft, it does not make them gay! The man right here on the right, Miyavi, just like many Japanese rock artists, is notorious for his effeminate face and ways.However, he is a married to a woman with 2 daughters. The man on left, Ricky Martin, was a 90s heartthrob which even I fawned over at one time. He is, however, gay, with 2 adopted sons.

Reasons people are gay

Many of those who oppose LGBT equality dismiss the biological basis of sexual orientation and promote other theories to the development of a homosexual orientation. Some argue that being gay develops as a result of certain types of parenting such as the presence of an overly involved mother, an absent father or too much exposure to “girly things” when young. There is no evidence to suggest that how people parent their children has any direct involvement in sexual orientation of a person. Others suggest that sexual abuse in childhood can cause the development of a homosexual orientation. Again, there is no evidence to support this claim. Some also think it’s because of having more female friends than male friends. Again, this is merely a theory.

When do heterosexual people realize that they’re straight? When they fall in love with the opposite sex. What about gay men? It is also the same thing. In fact, a lot of gay men, in their younger days, tried to force themselves into relationships with girls to ignore their feelings for the same gender. When I was a young girl, my parents had never taught me that I was supposed to fall in love with a boy. These are emotions that come on their own. As a child, I was exposed to many boyish things, and I was disgusted by anything girly. Yet, I grew up liking boys. So how can we simply assume that a parent’s way of upbringing is wrong only because his or her child is gay?

A lot of those who oppose LGBT use “Being gay is a choice” as their reason. They say that all human beings were born to fall in love with the opposite sex, and there is simply no way a person was born gay.

One Nigerian science student even made a research as to why gay marriage is supposed to be impossible:

A student in Nigeria claims he has scientific proof that gay marriage is wrong.

The so-called discovery was made by Chibuihem Amalaha, a postgraduate student at the University of Lagos who told Nigeria’s This Day Live that same-sex marriage is “eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world.” Amalaha said he conducted “experiments” in physics, chemistry, biology and mathematics to test his theory. Ultimately, he deduced that the repellence of two similar entities (magnets, for instance) proves that gay marriage is wrong.

In a series of befuddling explanations, Amalaha cited magnets, electrolysis, animal mating and simple addition as rationale for why gay relationships just aren’t right. His entire thesis boils down to the fact that “like” does not attract “like.”

You can read the whole article here:

Chibuihem Amalaha_FRANK151

In 2012, the reasoning that “Being gay is a choice” was further enforced when actress Cynthia Nixon, after commenting to a New York Times Magazine reporter that she “chose” to pursue a lesbian relationship after many years as a content heterosexual. This was met with outrage by lesbian and gay activists. As one horrified gay male writer proclaimed, “[Nixon] just fell into a right-wing trap, willingly. Every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights.” Under considerable pressure from LGBT advocacy groups, Nixon recanted her statement a few weeks later, stating instead that she must have been born with bisexual potential.

However, research by neuroscientist Simon LeVay, also writer of the book “Gay, Straight and The Reason Why: The Science Of Sexual Orientation”, think that being gay could be biological.

He presents cross-cultural evidence that goes counter to psychoanalytic and learning theories. For example, “many (probably most) young people in our own culture develop an awareness of their sexual orientation while they are still virgins.” In contrast, boys among the Sambia in New Guinea “are required to engage in sexual contacts with older male youths for several years before they have any access to females, yet most, if not all, of these boys become heterosexual men.”

Gay-animalsRather than ask, “What went wrong?” biological theories examine sexual variety as part of nature. Homosexual behavior is common among wildlife. Homosexual behavior in animals include sexual activity, courtship, affection, and pair bonding and parenting among the same-sex animal pairs. Close to 1,500 species, including our closest relatives, the primates, have been observed engaging in this behavior.

Bruce Bagemihl, Canadian biologist, linguist and author of “Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity”, has stated that “the animal kingdom does it with much greater sexual diversity, including homosexual, bisexual and non-reproductive sex, than the scientific community and society at large have previously been willing to accept”. One species in which exclusive homosexual orientation occurs, however, is that of domesticated sheep. About 10% of rams refuse to mate with ewes but do readily mate with other rams.

The observation of homosexuality in animals have been used as an argument against and for acceptance of homosexuality in humans. The question “What causes homosexuality?” is a simplicity that doesn’t exist. Definitions of homosexuality vary, how it happened, when it sparked etc. The expression of gender-atypical traits, for example, feminine traits in men and masculine traits in women, also varies among humans. That is when it is important to understand the difference between sex and gender, whereby sex is your biological differences and gender is behavioral, and is usually built around societal construct and stereotype. Those gender shifts account for variations within both homosexual and heterosexuals.

Gender-atypical traits have been linked to developmental mechanisms, the way a person was brought up and also “bad parenting”. Sharing from an experience, I have two gay friends. One of which has always been gay. He has never been attracted to girls, only boys, but thought it was just a phase and even tried to force himself to be a heterosexual once, but didn’t work because “that’s just the way he is”. The other friend of mine just decided to be gay one day after a long string of failed relationships (which can also mean he is bisexual). So to say that someone “chooses to be gay” or was “born gay” is really a subjective issue as it varies for each other.

Emotional desires are something that we cannot force. I am a heterosexual woman, and no matter how hard I try to be attracted to a female, I cannot. The same thing goes for gay men, who just cannot look at women as life partners. An interesting question to ask yourself is, “When did I decide to be heterosexual?”

Although there are many questions of interest, such as “Is there a biological explanation or justification for homosexual tendencies?” And if so, what does this mean for Islamic teachings and morality?

Homosexuality from an Islamic perspective

Homosexuality has been mentioned in all holy books of each Abrahamic religion, all of which mentions the act of homosexuality as a detestable sin. Religious groups are committed to a belief that God had created a natural order for opposite genders to copulate in order to ensure the continuing existence of species. This reason has been used as the number one reason why homosexuality is “unnatural”.

Religions, like Islam, have attempted to outlaw the practice by prescribing punishments like flogging and stoning, for people who either confess to being homosexual or are caught committing acts of sodomy. Medieval Muslim scholars even once prohibited men from being in seclusions with beardless boys in order to remedy increased occurrences of homosexuality. Catholic naturalists, their Muslim counterparts and others who cling to a belief in natural order are under significant pressure to reassess their rationale for declaring homosexuality as vices.

Many gay men justify that homosexuality is not a choice, but rather, an inborn disposition. This claim possesses a huge contradiction to their male-female binary, thus many religious bodies classify homosexuality as an inordinate lust that has to be controlled and restraint somehow. I have mentioned above that all gay men being promiscuous is merely a misconception, so is homosexuality simply “lust”? Considering if homosexuality was biological, many religious bodies assume that this condition demands corrective biological manipulation (if within reach) in order the person according to what is right and what is wrong.

The subject of sexual orientation is one that is sensitive within the Muslim community. A lot of Muslims are against it, as many as there are that support it, while there are those who are on the fence, not knowing which side to be on. The question now is, “Can one be a gay Muslim?” From an Islamic point of view, every human being is born with a God-given sanctity, our intrinsic human rights, and we’re all equal before God. It’s our actions that determine our status with Him, not how we are labelled or how we label ourselves. It’s not exactly what we do, per se, but more of how we turn Islam into a tailored religion to be fitted around our lives.

As I have stated above in “Reasons why people are gay”, majority of gay men (if not all) were like to be “born that way”. A segment of the population does feel attraction and emotion towards the same sex, and this is something they do not choose. So this rhetoric should stop. No one chooses how they feel and their emotions. No one chooses to be bullied in school and harassed at work. What seems very prominent in our Muslim society is their ignorance towards the underlying realities behind these emotions.

In this article, I aim to answer these three questions:

  • Can you be inclined or emotionally/sexually attracted to members of the same sex in Islam?
  • Can one be in homosexual relationships in Islam?
  • Can one act upon their homosexual desires in Islam?

The answer to the first two questions is yes. The answer to the third question is a non-negotiable no.

From the Qur’an

ولوطا إذ قال لقومه أتاتون الفحشة ما سبقكم بها من أحد من العلمين إنكم لتاتون الرجال شهوة من دون النساء بل أنتم قوم مسرفون

“And [We had sent] Lot when he said to his people, “Do you commit such immorality as no one has preceded you with from among the worlds? Indeed, you approach men with desire, instead of women. Rather, you are a transgressing people.” [Al-A’raf 7:80-81]

What’s interesting about the above verse is how Prophet Lot was talking about the action, not the emotion. If you had to look at other translations of this verse:

Muhsin Khan:
And (remember) Lout (Lot), when he said to his people: “Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Alamin (mankind and jinns)? Verily, you practice your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins).

And Lot! (Remember) when he said unto his folk: Will ye commit abomination such as no creature ever did before you? Lo! Ye come with lust onto men instead of women. Nay, but ye are wanton folk.

Yusuf Ali:
We also (sent) Lut: He said to his people: “Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women; ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds.

And (We sent) Lut when he said to his people: What! Do you commit an indecency which anyone in the world has not done before you? Most surely you come to males in lust besides females; nay you are an extravagant people.

Dr. Ghali:
And (remember) Lut, (Lot) as he said to his people, “Do you commit such obscenity as in no way has anyone in the worlds ever gone before you (perpetrated) it? Surely you indeed come up with lust to men, apart from women; no indeed, you are an extravagant people.”

Every single translation above uses the word “commit” and also “lust”. The word “commit” here means “to perform”. Thus, Prophet Lot was addressing the act of “performing their lust unto men”, not the orientation itself. Again, if we were to look at other verses that speak of homosexuality:

أَتَأْتُونَ الذُّكْرَانَ مِنَ الْعَالَمِينَ وَتَذَرُونَ مَا خَلَقَ لَكُمْ رَبُّكُمْ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُم بَلْ أَنتُمْ قَوْمٌ عَادُونَ قَالُوا لَئِن لَّمْ تَنتَهِ يَا لُوطُ لَتَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْمُخْرَجِينَ قَالَ إِنِّي لِعَمَلِكُم مِّنَ الْقَالِينَ رَبِّ نَجِّنِي وَأَهْلِي مِمَّا يَعْمَلُونَ

“Do you approach males among the worlds and leave what your lord has created for you as mates? But you are a people of transgressing. They said “If you do not desist, O Lot, you will be surely be of those evicted.” He said, “Indeed, I am, toward your deed, of those who detest [it]. My Lord, save me and my family from [the consequence of] what they do.”” [Ash-Shu’ara 26:165-169]

Multiple translations:

Muhsin Khan:
He said: “I am, indeed, of those who disapprove with severe anger and fury your (this evil) action (of sodomy.)”

He said: I am in truth of whose who hate your conduct.

Yusuf Ali:
He said: “I do detest your doings.”

He said: Surely I am of those who utterly abhor your doings

Dr. Ghali:
He said, “Surely I am of those who disapprove of what you are doing.”

أَئِنَّكُمْ لَتَأْتُونَ الرِّجَالَ شَهْوَةً مِّن دُونِ النِّسَاء بَلْ أَنتُمْ قَوْمٌ تَجْهَلُونَ

“Do you indeed approach men with desire instead of women? Rather, you are a people behaving ignorantly.” [An-Naml 27:55]

Multiple translations:

Muhsin Khan:
Do you approach men in your lusts rather than women? Nay, but you are a people who behave senselessly.

Must ye needs lust after men instead of women? Nay but ye are a folk who act senseless.

Yusuf Ali:
Would ye really approach men in your lusts rather than women? Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant.

What! Do you indeed approach men lustfully rather than women? Nay, you are a people who act ignorantly.

Dr. Ghali:
Do you (really) come up with lust to men rather than women? No indeed, you are a people who are ignorant.

وَلُوطًا إِذْ قَالَ لِقَوْمِهِ إِنَّكُمْ لَتَأْتُونَ الْفَاحِشَةَ مَا سَبَقَكُم بِهَا مِنْ أَحَدٍ مِّنَ الْعَالَمِينَ أَئِنَّكُمْ لَتَأْتُونَ الرِّجَالَ وَتَقْطَعُونَ السَّبِيلَ وَتَأْتُونَ فِي نَادِيكُمُ الْمُنكَرَ فَمَا كَانَ جَوَابَ قَوْمِهِ إِلَّا أَن قَالُوا ائْتِنَا بِعَذَابِ اللَّهِ إِن كُنتَ مِنَ الصَّادِقِينَ

“And [mention] Lot, when he said to his people, “Indeed, you commit such immorality as no one has preceded you with from among the worlds. Indeed, you approach men and obstruct the road and commit in your meetings [every] evil.” And the answer of his people was not but they said, “Bring us the punishment of Allah, if you should be of the truthful.”” [Al-Ankabut 29:28-29]

Multiple translations:

Muhsin Khan:
And (remember) Lout (Lot), when he said to his people: “You commit Al-Fahishah (sodomy the worst sin) which none has preceded you in (committing) it in the ‘Alamin (mankind and jinns). Verily, you do sodomy with men, and rob the wayfarer (travellers, etc.)! And practise Al-Munkar (disbelief and polytheism and every kind of evil wicked deed) in your meetings.” But his people gave no answer except, that they said: “Bring Allah’s Torment upon us if you are one of the truthful.”

And Lot! (Remember) when he said unto his folk: Lo! ye commit lewdness such as no creature did before you. For come ye not in unto males, and cut ye not the road (for travellers), and commit ye not abomination in your meetings? But the answer of his folk was only that they said: Bring Allah’s doom upon us if thou art a truthteller!

Yusuf Ali:
And (remember) Lut: behold, he said to his people: “Ye do commit lewdness, such as no people in Creation (ever) committed before you. Do ye indeed approach men, and cut off the highway? – and practise wickedness (even) in your councils?” But his people gave no answer but this: they said: “Bring us the Wrath of Allah if thou tellest the truth.”

And (We sent) Lut when he said to his people: Most surely you are guilty of an indecency which none of the nations has ever done before you; What! Do you come to the males and commit robbery on the highway, and you commit evil deeds in your assemblies? But nothing was the answer of his people except that they said: Bring on us Allah’s punishment, if you are one of the truthful.

Dr. Ghali:
And Lut, as he said to his people, “Surely you indeed come up to (such) obscenity as in no way has any of the worlds (that) preceded you (done so). Do you really come up to (obscenity) to men, and cut the way, and come up in your assembly to maleficence?” Yet, in no way was the answer of his people (anything) except that they said, “Come up with the torment of Allah in case you are of the sincere.”

From the verses read above, we can see that the Qur’an talks about the act of sodomy being blasphemous, not the orientation itself. But it is also important to note that not all gay men commit sodomy, and not all those who commit sodomy are gay men.

وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُواْ النِّسَاء فِي الْمَحِيضِ وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىَ يَطْهُرْنَ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللّهُ إِنَّ اللّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ نِسَآؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُواْ حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ وَقَدِّمُواْ لأَنفُسِكُمْ وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّكُم مُّلاَقُوهُ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ

“And they ask you about menstruation. Say, “It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves. Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.”” [Al-Baqarah 2:223]

In the above verse, husbands have been told to not have sexual intercourse with his wife until after her menstruation period has ended. This would mean that anal sex is not permissible under any circumstance, as if the man wanted to have sex with his wife, it has to be through the vagina. The word “tilth” indicates that only vaginal sex is permissible, as it is from this place where children are produced after semen has been lodged in the womb, which is likened to the seeds that are planted in the ground to bring crops and vegetation.

There has also been interpretations by different people saying that anal sex between husband and wives are halal as long as he has his wife’s permission. Wallahualam. In my own personal opinion, I think it is haram due to the risk of STDs that it may offer as the anus was made for fecal matter to go through.

So ultimately, anal sex between gay men is as haram as it is between men and women. Why is anal sex always emphasized when it comes to gay men? Because a man’s biological body was made for penetration. If same sex emotions are forbidden in Islam, why is lesbianism not mentioned in the Qur’an? Sodomy was emphasized as it is an act considered haram in Islam, and considering the male’s body, sodomy in homosexual relationships can only exist between gay men.

I attended a workshop on women’s rights in Islam a few days ago, and it just so happens that one of the speakers, Kiyai Hussein (a renowned male ulama in Indonesia) mentioned about homosexuality in Islam. As we had been taught on the difference between sex and gender, someone asked him about Islam’s stance on sexual orientation.

He went on to say, “Why is it whenever people think of homosexuality, they think of sodomy? Homosexuality is not sodomy. Homosexuality is an emotion. Who said love has to always involve penetration?” He also said, “We do not have the right to stop people from falling in love. Emotions cannot be forced. Emotions are a God-given gift.”

When asked about the verse of Prophet Lut’s people and why they were overthrown, Kiyai also mentioned “Were they really destroyed because they committed sodomy? Or was it because of something else (refer to 29:29)? Or was it just a normal natural disaster? We don’t know for sure. But I do not think so.”

He also told us the story of Abu Nuwas, a famous gay poet in Islamic tradition, who extensively wrote on love between men. One of his poetries read:

I die of love for him, perfect in every way,
Lost in the strains of wafting music.
My eyes are fixed upon his delightful body
And I do not wonder at his beauty.
His waist is a sapling, his face a moon,
And loveliness rolls off his rosy cheek
I die of love for you, but keep this secret:
The tie that binds us is an unbreakable rope.
How much time did your creation take, O angel?
So what! All I want is to sing your praises.

(Love in Bloom; after Monteil, p. 95)

If sodomy between men and men was punishable by death, stoning or flogging, why was sodomy between men and women not punishable by that too considering the fact that it is haram between them as well? Kiyai Hussein said, “Sexual intercourse is an act done in secrecy. How do we know for sure if someone sodomizes? And even if they do, why the big deal? Should we be the ones punishing them for something they do in silence? Or is it for God to judge?” It is important to look at it from a larger scale. Murdering, discriminating and bullying gay people have a bigger effect than just on the individual, but also affects people who are closest to them. Before we react harshly to a “different” person, we should as ourselves how we would feel if someone we dearly loved had the same thing happening to them.

:EDIT 28/6/14: Reading the above verses, we see that the people of Prophet Lut were cruel people. Their act of sodomy is seen as an act of ‘wickedness’. When I met Muiz Ghazali in Indonesia, he mentions that this might mean that sodomy was used as a weapon of terror against men (rape of men). Sodomy was used to assert power over others, and that these verses do not explicitly state if the men of Prophet Lut were homosexual or not, thus it is wrong for us to assume that God punished them simply for being homosexual.

When discussing homosexuality, people have the impression that somehow, along with a different sexual orientation than the norm, they also lack the capacity for self-control. Apparently, being homosexual meant the irresistible urge to fulfil one’s sexual desires. However, this tendency should not be biased on gay couples, as even unmarried Muslim men and women couples fulfil their sexual desires illicitly. Does being heterosexual send a signal to your brain to enforce the need for chastity? Homosexual people are just like heterosexual couples, only with a different preference.

In the Islamic world, human beings are not labelled by reducing them to their sexual orientation or a single behavior they engage in; being human means much more than just sexual orientation or practice. The term “Hate the sin but love the sinner” is not just something you use, but do not apply in real life. As much as many Muslims refuse to acknowledge this, ultimately, we are brothers and sisters in humanity and all equal before God. Every one of us has shortcomings and challenges on our way to get closer to God. Unfortunately, it seems that many Muslims focus on condemning homosexuals and using that as an opportunity to forget about oneself. I call this “escapism”, as they are escaping from themselves and justifying their own sins with sins of others that they refer to as “worse”.

Contrary to common Muslim belief, homosexuality has existed from the very beginning of Islamic period, if not even before that. With that said, I think it is important to bring up the fact that Islam is a religion of peace, which does not condone discrimination and judgment in any way. We have been told by God to treat all his creations fairly and with righteousness, despite who they are and despite our differences.

I am hoping for a less discriminatory Muslim society, in which we are less illiberal towards homosexuality and more compassionate towards people who have a hard time living their lives. Homosexual Muslims are always subject to ridicule and are constantly in a confusion about their religion; do not make things harder for them.

A balance between firmness upon Islamic teachings, and showing compassion and understanding, must be present in order for Muslims to be steadfast upon their beliefs; to carry out their duty as worshippers of God without alienating others in the process. Is it necessary for us to always instill fear into the hearts of people? Does this not go against Islam’s message of gentleness?

The reason why the demand for LGBT marriage is high is due to the fact that homosexual couples wish to receive the same amount of marriage rights and privileges as other heterosexual couples. Should they be deprived of a comfortable and convenient life only because of sexual orientation?

You be the judge.

I just believe in acceptance of others, maintaining peace and kindness within a society of human beings all made equal before God. I do not ask for people to listen to my voice, I merely ask for compassion towards others. Only God knows best. Wallahualam. May God bless us with his guidance and mercy.


31 comments on “Islam and Homosexuality

  1. st. effie (@redrumming)
    September 28, 2013

    it’s always disheartening to read your articles on these so-called ‘controversial’ topics. i always expect somewhere along the way of reading and researching all of these things, you’d come to strongly take a stand one way or another. you’re not intending to write up your personal opinions and beliefs, yet that’s the most interesting part of it, because people can get all this information from a cursory google search. it’s just really disheartening to find that even after everything you have read and all the people you’ve talked to, regarding this topic, sexism, whatever else, you have not come to a place to so strongly advocate for any one of it.

    • sfqomhz
      September 29, 2013

      After reading and researching, I’d come strongly to take a stand? I beg to differ, but if you read it through enough, my stand was that I support LGBT rights and why I think homosexual relations (not acts) are permissible. These aren’t things I make up on my own. It’s a human right that I have always stuck to, so I decided to discover if it’s “human rights/Islam” or “human rights = Islam”, so these are things I have read regarding the topic, and learnt from seminars and talks and experiences from other people. Btw yes, they are from a cursory Google search, because I download .pdf files of BOOKS from Google to read extensively. Anyone can do a cursory Google search, but would you go through pages and pages of it to find a book just to read? Would you find a download of a book to read, about human rights, and write an article advocating gender equality?

      Which brings me to my next point; advocation. What do you know about what I do? I am an advocate of feminism, gender equality and human rights. I am a freelance writer and I write voluntarily for Sisters In Islam, or whichever organizations that choose to use and promote my writing. I don’t write for money, I write for passion, thirst of knowledge and for awareness. Just because I am not fixed under one organization doesn’t mean I have “not come to a place to so strongly advocate for any one of it”.

      I take a strong stand in all my beliefs, but in all my articles, I don’t enforce it upon anyone. I don’t force people to follow after me. Which is why I always emphasize on “Wallahualam”. Only God knows best. Which also means, only God knows best how strongly I stick to my principles and why I do what I do.

      If you can’t find a fault in what I write, and you can’t debate with my contents, don’t start questioning my stand on the topic I write about, my advocacy and basically my intentions of writing. Because ultimately, wallahualam.


  2. Anony
    September 30, 2013

    This is a brave topic to write about. I’ve had similar questions about the subject because I think same gender love is a natural occurring tendency. The religious community reaction to this behaviour is typically expected but does not resolve the issue. Not even close. Good on you for making known your opinions …

  3. st. effie (@redrumming)
    September 30, 2013

    never wanted to debate with the contents in the first place. i’m sorry i implied to know anything about the advocacy you do outside of the internet sphere. ultimately the version of feminism i’m familiar with and advocate for is different from yours (and here i’m assuming your version as a consolidation of all the views you’ve expressed on this blog) so it would be pointless to criticize the work you do/the things you have written on that topic.

    as someone who has been deeply affected by homophobia, articles that take an ‘objective’ or ‘you be the judge’ stance will be triggering for me, especially written by someone who is (as far as i know) not queer. i’m sure that much should be understandable. wa’alaikum salam.

    • sfqomhz
      October 1, 2013

      I’m sorry, perhaps when I wrote “You be the judge.”, it came out wrongly. I guess the question can be more clearly translated to, “I have told you about the realities of homosexuals, and also about how Islam sees them, so is it still fair for you, or other people, to be disconcerting towards them?” Which clearly the answer to that is a big no.

      I apologize, as I do not know how you were affected by homophobia. I personally have never been directly affected, but I’ve had friends who were subject to such discrimination and ridicule, and that in a way affected a huge part of me. It pains me. I was the friend that had to console and give them a reason a keep their head up again.

      Perhaps it was my wrong choice of words that sounded misleading, and I apologize for that. But I do want you to know that I am a firm believer of human rights. And although not queer myself, LGBT rights is something I have and always will wholeheartedly back up.

      I completely understand what you’re trying to say, and don’t worry, no hard feelings on this side.

  4. bye bye bye (@redrumming)
    October 4, 2013

    thank you. once again, i apologize for my initial tone and baseless statements.

    • sfqomhz
      October 4, 2013

      No apologies needed. I’m sorry as well if I had misunderstood you earlier. Have a great day ahead and may God bless 🙂

  5. TERRY
    November 15, 2013

    Rationalizing behavior, thoughts, desires etc… to justify actions of conduct that may be objectionable in a moral or religious context is nothing new or profound. Nature deviates ever so often…five fingers five toes are considered the norm.. but on occasion six will happen but it’s not accepted as normal on human hands and feet. You can not in a moral or religious context practice many things you find.. or what happens in nature, Father son sex or mother daughter sex comes to mind… just because you have an emotional proclivity towards a certain behavior l am sure you would agree that this is something objectionable to many if not all civilizes societies.
    Have you ever known a person to be abused into being or cause to be heterosexual? I have known the other….young boys in a confined or prison environment.. nature deviates sometimes from exterior or may be interior influences, so does human beings behavior that often succumbs to suggestions. Some Muslims may
    try to justify eating pork because in AL-Quran it gives the believing Muslims permission to part take in it only under dire predicaments, however , this is done only to preserve life, not to make a meal of it. For person to eat pork and drink alcohol on a regular occurrence even if that person is making twenty prayers a day, it’s is unacceptable to Muslims and I am sure wouldn’t be recognize has being Muslim behavior,
    let along being a believer in the deen of Al-Islam.

    • sfqomhz
      November 21, 2013

      You are comparing something that cannot be controlled (emotions, birth defects etc.) to something that is ultimately a choice (eating pork). While yes, six fingers on a hand may not be accepted as normal, but can it be helped if they were born with six fingers? Is it something to be discriminated over? I hope you understand my analogy.

      Also, I do not know people who have been abused to become heterosexual, because even with abuse, they did not become heterosexual. More than ever, they pretended to be, but they could never get rid of their homosexuality. Abuse could not change the way God had made them. Which brings to mind that abuse over someone for the sake of “changing” them is sinful. Even the Prophet PBUH could not get his uncle to embrace Islam with his kindness, let alone with coercion. Anything done out of force only creates insincerity and apathy.

      What categorizes as Muslim behaviour? For me, it is the way a person acts. Even a non-Muslim can live a life of Islamic values.

      The spectrum of human conditions is diverse and absolutely wide, and whatever conditions/defects/abnormality we face is known to God even before mankind. As everything happens only with the will of God. If you read my article Women In Islam: Between Dignity And Discrimination Part 1, you’d see that even human genders go beyond the normal male-female binary and some people female-gendered but male-sexed and vice versa.

      The young boys of the Sambia tribe are exposed to homosexual activities and behaviours as young as at age 7, yet most if not all of them, still grow up to be heterosexual. This means that your sexual orientation, more than often, is something that you are born with. But then again, this depends from people to people.

      The topic of homosexuality is not black and white, but the main purpose of my article was merely to prove that God created homosexuality, whether we perceive it as normal or not, thus making it no reason for US to be the judges of gay people, and we are made equal before God’s eyes, no matter who we are or where we come from. Wallahualam 🙂

  6. TERRY
    November 22, 2013

    `Greetings, yes l understood your analogy but it seems you missed mine. No one would take anyone seriously with a pork chop in one hand and a beer in the other professing to be Muslim or practicing the deen of Al-Islam was my point. Allah commands us to fast in the month of Ramadan so that you may learn self restraint. A discipline that controls the emotions, wants, and desires and to obey what Allah has directed us to be, obedient to divine will. Don’t want to go antidotal but what I mean about abuse as I have stated, in a situation when the young and innocent is abused in a confined place and force to do sexual acts that he or she wouldn’t ordinarily participated in, so I asked the question, have you ever known anyone to turn or to be heterosexual by abuse verses someone turning or being homosexual by abuse.
    Not someone trying to turn someone practicing homosexuality to be hetero.

    I have personally known persons to have been perfectly hetero in their youth until confine prison circumstances brought them out homosexual when freed
    I would to say Allah permits such and such behavior instead of saying Allah created such and such because we would not say Allah created evil, child abuse, man- boy love ect,…
    I am most certainly not advocating harm or disrespect toward anyone , Allah will as he tells us that all question will be answered in this life most certainly in the next.
    In your scholarly research what do Allah say and demand concerting marriage, for I have not seen any thing that suggestion that marriage is anything but between male and female.

    jazallah khair

  7. Adilah M.
    December 3, 2013

    Reblogged this on And Thus, I Write.

  8. finding my way
    January 1, 2014

    Thank you for your article here. I wish Muslims are slightly more open about this issue. I saw a suggestion online about setting up a Facebook page to address this issue and also to help people facing this dilemma, but I feel that most people would think that the page would be advocating even more homosexual feelings/acts. In addition, I saw someone writing in to a newspaper stating that instead of condemning people with such feelings and pushing them away, Muslims should actually embrace them. I agree with this opinion because I feel that the more you push them away, the more they will drift away from Islam because they do not feel accepted even by their own religion. Thank you so much for this article and God bless.

  9. Fizz
    February 27, 2014

    I dont know whats the point you’re elaborating these topic sooo long with so called evidence and make it rather complicated to be understood. If you wants to say about human’s right, think about it, who created human and other creatures? Allah swt. Why Allah swt make some people to have that homo desire? Its a test. NOT HUMAN NATURE. You seems to support homosexual based on your ‘human right’ statement. Kalau you rasa other people bash homosexual group, you’re wrong. Berapa ramai religious organization yang nak bantu homo people untuk kembali ke Islam sebenar, while you here making stupid statement and seems to support homo thingy, as if we Malaysian Muslim pandang homo ni jijik. This is truly dissappointing. and i taktau la macam mana orang lain akan fikir tentang Islam nanti lepas baca blog you ni. Mungkin diorang akan rasa homo ni tak salah sebab its human nature and human ada hak nak gay ke lesbian ke sebab HAK. You know what, this world is not immortal. Kalau you rasa hak you la nak LGBT ke apa, takpayah la Allah made heaven for human. Kita hidup untuk mengabdikan diri kepada Tuhan, bukan pasal hak kebebasan sementara semata mata.

    • sfqomhz
      February 28, 2014

      Oh hello, so we meet again. What’s the point in elaborating the topic? First, it is to raise awareness that there is a problem with LGBT acceptance in our society. This is especially rampant within religious sectors. Second, it is to remind that homosexuals are still as human as we are. The world is not black and white, and to elaborate of this further, you might want to read my article on sex and gender. Third, to make people realize the discrimination and fear homosexuals live in and how they are oppressed, not only in terms of law, but also in their daily lives. You might want to read up on Uganda and Russia’s anti-gay law, and the effect it has on its LGBT citizens.

      After all I have explained under “Reasons people are gay”, you only respond to that by telling me it is not human nature? I have even written down how it is subjective for different people. This makes me wonder if you read my article at all. And yes, I do support human rights. We were all born with intrinsic human rights, and homosexuals have the right to be and live, just as much as you do. Please note that human rights goes way beyond just LGBT rights. If someone is denied the right to live, all other rights cease to exist. Some examples of inalienable human rights would be speech, religion, personal freedom, security, even right to own a home, health-care, marriage, education. I support even animal rights, what makes you think I wouldn’t support rights for my own species?

      This article was written in response to the extremity of homophobic groups/people in the name of religion. I am not wrong when I say that LGBT are discriminated against. This is something you may ask any homosexual. Also, maybe this article might affect you deeper if you actually have loved ones who have come out as homosexual. You seem to be talking from only one perspective too, where there are religion organizations that want to help LGBT “return to the right path”. There are also religious groups who protest against, and those who also accept it. Again, there are always two sides to a fence.

      Just thought I’d also add this in here: I used to be on the fence regarding this topic. I supported LGBT, and believed in their right to love and be loved, but there was a conflict within me because I thought Islam did not accept homosexuality. What I have gathered from above is from an Indonesian ulema, Kiyai Hussein, who explained how Islam recognized different sexual orientations, and what was considered haram was not the orientation, but sodomy. You could also read Mohamed Ghilan’s essay on LGBTQIA Islam.

      Have you ever wondered what people thought of Islam now? There are people who deem Islam as barbaric because they think we abuse our women, we oppress our children, we kill, we bomb, we terrorize. They look at the Middle East and the news of injustice and oppression coming out of it, and they say “Wow, Islam is terrible!” How is advising harmony and acceptance of LGBT parallel to that? And yes, to me, it is not wrong to be homosexual. It is not because they have the right to be gay, but because they were granted the right to live and this entails to having the same rights as any other person. Treating homosexuality as an obstacle is just the same as racism and sexism.

      Since you’re talking about human nature, here is a question I asked but never got the answer to.
      “Did you choose to be straight? If so, when did you decide and why?”

      Heaven is God’s secret. None of us know our final abode. I dare not tamper with God’s judgment, as I leave it all in His hands. I believe in His divine mercy, not the limited understanding of the human brain, not even my own. But my heart, and yours? Only God knows. I don’t believe in interceding in His decisions and playing God.

      If you can believe in protesting against LGBT in the name of Islam, why can’t you believe in treating them kindly in the name of Islam as well?

      The world is not immortal, which is why I always say, “Just do good, and be good.” Wallahualuam.

      • Fizz
        February 28, 2014

        Did we choose to be straight? of course not and its not their fault, and society have to support them by giving time for them to change. BUT SOME OF THEM YESSS. they choose it for their own pleasure and thats their sin.

        i ada kawan yang homo since childhood. dia malu nak mengaku sebab takut dipulau orang lain. and one day when he tells me that he is homo, i still can accept him as friend as how he is before because he looks normal and act normally like a real man. and he hides the truth until nowadays when he heard of the rights of homo people (that even obama supported gay), he become more opened and berani mengaku dia gay and now dia rasa being gay is right and wants to be gay forever (will he?). Allah jadikan manusia berpasangan, bukannya lelaki dengan lelaki and perempuan dengan perempuan. and so you must say that you support their rights but you shouldnt’ve said they are in the right path. whats wrong is wrong, and you should guide them not by telling ‘you dah dijadikan macam ni so its not your fault’.

        Kalau you kata terang2 ‘oh i support gay’ then they would think that being gay forever is no wrong. maybe you would say it wasnt to be like that but it is happened now. Bila seorang demi seorang support gay, homo people akan rasa ‘wow my life been blessed at last’ and diorang rasa lebih berani nak tunjuk pada society bahawasanya mereka adalah gay.

        you selalu misunderstood my words and bagi pulak elaboration panjang yang saya dah tahu. did i say born as homo is wrong? when did i? i cuma kata yang homo thingy patut dibendung. memang pun we as muslim should support them to live and whats wrong there?

        ohh yaa i bukannya expert pun nak kata itu ini especially with someone yang cukup banyak ilmu seperti you.

        i dont know where to put my sincerity on this topic. kalau nak cakap pasal keikhlasan, ikhlaskah you bila buat researches semua ni? or just to show how stupid malaysian society are or what else? hmmm only Allah knows.

        like i said, hidup bukan berkaitan hak saja tapi juga perintah Tuhan. kenapa khinzir haram dimakan? coz perintah Tuhan and di sebalik setiap sesuatu perkara lain yang diharamkan dan diperintahkan ada hikmahnya. and kenapa haram cukur kening? perintah Tuhan kan kan kan. tapi berapa ramai yang ikut? berapa ramai yang buat jugak perkara haram? Allah knows well.

        well i dont understand at all on your statement about heaven.

        talking to you buat i teringat seorang non muslim yang claim herself as truly muslim and gives so much evidence but at last people knows who she is. astaghfirullah.

        • sfqomhz
          February 28, 2014

          Which part of “homosexuality as a sexual orientation is not wrong, but sodomy between man and man is haram as much as it is between woman and man” don’t you understand?

          But I guess you’re right. Being gay forever is wrong. They have to change somehow. Why don’t you change your sexual orientation for a week, and become gay, just to prove a point to homosexuals that sexual orientation can easily be altered? Then maybe they’ll be convinced.

          I hope your sarcasm and your slyly implying that I may be a non-Muslim in disguise makes you happy.


          P.S. I already know there is reason behind each of Allah’s ruling. Which was why I wrote “Does Islam degrade women?” in defense of Islam and our women. And I’m not surprised you don’t understand what I said about Heaven, considering the fact you even think this article is complicated 🙂

          • Fizz
            February 28, 2014

            Yeah it is complicated and could be manipulated too.

            What I can see is that only non muslim would like to share n reblog your posts. Just advicing. Maybe someday you’ll find whats wrong here. Non muslim would think that Islam is much simpler and can be manipulated over times.

            I didnt even say you’re kafir. Of course you’re muslim. and too much researches made you gone too far also. Liberalisme could kill you if you take it seriously.

            and why not you wear hijab for a week. Feel how the hijabis gone through the day with some people out there thinking hijabis are lame.

            kalau i buat researches pun, i tak perlu ubah apa2 pada diri i, but maybe i akan ubah pemikiran for the better. bukannya cari bukti sokongan untuk bagi alasan. why some people protest you? think bout it.

            about niat tu, yeah its between us and Allah. tapi kan kalau nak tunggu ikhlas, tiba-tiba a second after this kita passed away hmmm well only Allah knows the best and how we end our life.

            maybe persekitaran Malaysia buat you fikir macam tu. Proud to say that im still Singaporean.

            whatever it is just do good and be good. i’d never ask you to change yourself, just an advice. Chill. and wassalam.

            • sfqomhz
              February 28, 2014

              Funny you mentioned Singapore, considering the fact that I was born and raised there. And it might surprise you to know that I have once worn hijab for a week, because I like hijabi fashion. I get protests yes, but I feel obligated to speak up for the Muslims who think like me but are afraid to say it, in fear of people who protest. There will always be people who are with you, or against you. I take both in stride.

              Anyways, thank you for your input. It has been an interesting conversation. May we meet again and may God bless you.

  10. Anonymous
    April 25, 2014

    you’re a one messed up girl sorry to say i mean it’s cool that you’re open minded and all but wow what you’re saying here is that you’re supporting something that is clearly haram. just remember that this world is temporary. people should just stop defending things that are temporary such as this subject. go read the quran pray and do things that God would want you to do stop wasting your time. i hope Allah guide you to the right path and i hope you become a better muslim InsyaAllah

    • sfqomhz
      April 25, 2014

      The fact that you disregard everything that I had said and cited, and decided to do a personal attack on how I profess my faith says more about you than it does about me. I hope I become a better Muslim as well, and I hope you become a better person. Inshallah, ameen.

  11. Mitchy
    April 26, 2014

    Hi gal, I accidentally stump onto your blog and it.was mind blowing.v
    Though I don’t really agree on everything you said in the GE13 propaganda by an anonymous but it was a witty come back. Will like read more of your thoughts.

  12. rashedahmed10
    April 27, 2014

    Hi…I have read two of your article. Very deep views and I salut you. But if you think that homosexual relation is ok but not its act, I think it should be the emotion that is permissible, but not its relation nor act. Because when it comes to the term relation, it ussually involves the act of love, such as talking, hugging and further action. Meanwhile there is a verse saying do not approach zina (al isra:32). It didnt say do not perform, but it says in a more harsh way, approaching. Involvement in a homosexual relation is, IMHO, approaching zina because there is a chance that they will be involved into further sexual act.

    I have this from an experience of friend who feel his homosexual emotion and after a few psychological consult, he is persuade to see it as a good thing. He was advice to view his feminine personality (emotional sensitivity, easy listener etc) as hos forte because in the future, people are required to be androgini (owing the good character of both men and women; the toughness of men and sensitivity of a woman). He can keep his sexual emotion but not advice to be involved in a homosexual relation nor act, that is what his phsychologist said. He is now married and waiting for the birth of his first child. He still feel the homosexual emotion but his love to his spouse is just to big

    And for all the LGBT person out there, I think they should really try to seek help (especially by consulting a psychologist or ulama) befor they would claim that LGBT emotion is embedded since birth and that the sexual urge is a package that comes with it. Sometimes it is just spur of the moment and changeable

    To sister shadiqah, I imagine how beautiful you are wearing a hijab. May Allah always love you and make you one of the greates Islam advocates and hopefully you to wear the hijab consistently….

  13. rashedahmed10
    April 27, 2014

    Sorry too much typo and to much “I”. Hopefully its ok with you

  14. Anonymous
    April 27, 2014

    Salam sister. Your blog is a good read though I must say I am a heterosexual myself but I have loved ones who is undergoing this. I am probably one of those you refer to as on the fence. I am not against those sexual orientations but I’m afraid of being judged by fellow muslims for “supporting” this. If even by accepting homosexuals I’m receiving hate, I can only imagine what it feels like to be discriminated for being a homosexual.

    Also aside from this topic, I would love to hear your point of view regarding the racial rights in this country as most non-bumiputera’s are not given oppurtunities like bumiputeras education wise. What are yor thoughts? Thank you 😊

  15. Syauna
    May 5, 2014

    Salam sis,

    I have three lesbian friends since 6 years ago. One of them is openly gay, the second one is still in the closet, the third one is in denial with herself.

    And I’m a girl who loves another girl too. And it’s not easy. People would say that I should pray more, do something that would distract me from thinking about girls (like men do. Don’t freak out!), they say that I should make it as a ‘gay-friendly’ thing, that it’s just my mind, the way I think.

    But it isn’t. I have never told anyone about this except to my friend (also a lesbian). It’s extremely difficult to came out to her, even though she’s a homosexual person too! I used to self-loathing, I used to hate the society. Here I am, emotionally and sexually attracted to girls, but I WON’T ACT upon my homosexual desires!

    Because I obey Allah and Prophet Muhammad.

    Dear sis, I don’t support LGBT, but I am willing to give my hand to whoever people who are in the ‘closet’. I know how depressing it is. I have been depressed for years, I used to take sleeping pills every night ( I’m only 16 when I did that), I used to cut (self-loathing), I used to have suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t even study for my exam. AND NOBODY REALIZED WHAT HAPPENED to me.

    I was an excellent student, but all this total mess have ruined me.

    Things got worse. So I decided to go the hospital (making up stories to my mum). They arranged an appointment for me with a counsellor. It was a good process. He helped me to explore my feeling and emotion. In that moment I realized — what I needed the most was just an acceptance. I got an acceptance from my counsellor. He was funny btw. My depression got better. Believing that this is a test from God, making me realize that everything is okay as long as I do not commit any sins.

    To anyone here that might be homosexual, you should seek for help if you feel depressed about it. God isn’t cruel. You aren’t alone, you are loved.

    Syauna, 18.

    p/s: sorry for my bad english!

  16. Sara
    August 11, 2014

    This is my second time reading this particular post, and I still don’t understand the point you’re trying to make. Are you saying that having homosexual desires and being in a homosexual relationship is halal, but homosexual sex is haram? How is that any better than taking a stand either way? When people protest for gay marriage, they are not just protesting for the right to marry a member of the same gender. Obviously they will have sex at some point as well. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but how is such a viewpoint any better or more correct than the other side? Take me, for example. I agree that having homosexual desires to some people is normal for them. I also know that acting on those desires is haram. But I’m not naive enough to believe that most gay people will not want to act on their desires. And for the animal kingdom argument, no offense, but I don’t buy that argument. Some animals eat their young, yet we will never say that cannibalism is okay, but that is a completely natural phenomenon within the animal kingdom as well. Not saying you’re wrong, who knows but Allah, but there are obvious flaws in that logic.

  17. Noor
    June 22, 2015

    Masha Allah. You have written this article beautifully. I recently found out about people who are attracted to the same gender, and I didn’t know what my opinion should be. But I think they should have certain rights. You have certainly made your point across successfully. Thank you for clearing my questions. May Allah bless you. Amen.

  18. rbfj
    June 28, 2015

    Dear Shafiqah,
    I came across this article from your twitter, which i came across because of the arguments regarding muslims supporting legalization of gay marriages in the US. I’m dropping by a comment here because i will feel incomplete before i go to sleep without saying anything, and my curiousity is never letting me fall asleep as well. I hope you dont mind reading this long post.

    Before i say anything, im gonna be honest and tell you im not religious myself, and i have done sins that i am not proud of even. I also admit that i did not fully read your article, and my english is as well very limited, but i read enough to say that our opinion on this matter is definitely opposite. Maybe not entirely opposite, but i definitely am not supporting LGBT or such, as a muslim.

    I praise you for putting a lot of effort and time to put on a lot of research for your argument/view, which at first i thought you may be quite right. But i have to conclude that you are just intrepeting the things we learn in Islam differently, and just trying to make it agree on your own belief. I am sorry if i am wrong, and i am sorry if this part offends you in any way. I believe everyone has their right to think their own way, as like how i believe to my own belief.

    I do agree to the IDEA that legalizing gay marriages, or supporting gay people can bring happiness and peace to not only people in the gay community, but also to everyone else to live as one peaceful community, united. I also agree that there will be less bullying and discrimination. BUT i do not agree TO THE EXTENT that we muslims should ‘support’ gay people. It is clear that homosexual acts are forbidden and a sin in islam. As far as i understand, you agree to this part, but you were saying that the emotions between them is not forbidden. (Again, correct me if i am wrong). I partly agree and disagree. At times of our lives, we will encounter something we like but know ourselves we shouldnt do(or againts what we are told, not necessarily a sin), for example stealing, zina and also having homosexual feelings. as i mentioned i also have made sins, but what we all should do is repent. Even if you are currently doing the sin, there should be somewhere in the heart, saying that we regret what we are doing, that there is still Allah there, that there is still light and niat to bring us back to the right path.

    I grew up having both males and females confessing that they like me, and want me as a girlfriend, as early as i was in primary 4. “I definitely choose the boys of course because im straight!” is not what was in my mind. The girls treated me nicely, gave me chocolates and such just like how other boys flirt. Honestly I like them and almost thought that girl-girl relationship is nothing to worry about. But i figured out that these feelings doesnt need to end necessarily as girlfriend kind of relationship, and we remained close friends. I have seen some of them now in heterosexual relationship. So to your point of is being gay a choice? I say, partly. I do understand that not everyone will be like me, as some will bully and discriminate them. Religion doesnt take part here. It’s humanity. We should all know that we need to accept that some people are different, they may be wrong, but we should never criticize. What we should do is help, listen, advice, nasehat.

    I agree that it is not easy to control our feelings, but doesnt mean we cannot. If there is Allah in our heart, i believe He will lead us to the right path eventually, as long as we stay close to Him. Allah is the greatest, Allah is merciful. Allah knows what is right and what is wrong.

    Allah didnt say we should not do sex outside of marriage, He said that we should avoid. Does that mean we can have sex because we werent ABLE to avoid it? Correct me if i am wrong again. From my point of view, Allah forbids us to do zina, but there are times when we think to much of dunya and go over the line. But Allah is merciful, and He forgives as long as we repent.
    If we are so againts the belief Allah tells us to do, even after other sisters and brothers trying to give advice, then the answer is to simply let go of the belief entirely…

    My say ends here. I believe that I have my right to have my say as much as you have the right for yours, and i think i have a responsibilty as a muslim to try to give advice to my fellow sister. We both may be right or wrong. Assalammualaikum and may you have a blessed ramadhan.

  19. Mo
    March 29, 2016


  20. Anonymous
    March 29, 2016

    Homosexual relationships allowed? Isn’t that acting upon desires

  21. KSH
    April 18, 2016

    Assuming sodomy is solely the sin, A homosexual still can’t engage in any other sexual act without marriage, right? So how does that change anything? If he frots for example, outside of marriage, that’s still a sin. And he can’t get married to another man. So he’ll still have to be celibate for the rest of his life; this doesn’t change anything. How would you go about this?

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This entry was posted on September 24, 2013 by in Emotion, Lifestyle, Religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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