"Speak now or forever hold your peace in pieces."
Khairun Nashuha Binti Mustaffa (30th March 1995 – 8th October 2012)
I may not have been the closest to her, but I can remember her being such an angel. She is the sweetest to everyone, regardless of whether you knew her or not. She was always happy, always radiant, always smiling. But I guess behind that cheerful exterior was a girl who hid a lot of pain.
I wish I had gotten to know you better, but I am glad to have known you at all. I thank Allah for bringing you into my life, for you have shown me the true spirit of a fighter. For a girl so young, you have more strength than anyone else I have ever known. And for someone so frail, you have showed more positivity than anyone else. You believed when no one else did. You made people smile when they were frowning. You were always there to give moral support, even to me who was close to a stranger to you.
It’s not easy, even for me, to accept that there will never be another chance to say hello, to hug or to simply wave at you. Your spot is unoccupied now and all that’s left is memories of you. Never knew you would leave us so soon.
The last time I saw you was when your hospital bed rushed past me at the hospital. I never expected that the last time I laid eyes on the beautiful, beautiful Nashuha would be under those circumstances. I didn’t have the heart to stop the nurses, nor your mother, and I just stood there and cried. Till now, how weak you looked continues to haunt my mind. I couldn’t believe that is the Nashuha that I know. I cry even when I talk or think about it.
Let me remind you Chua, that even though your stay here was brief, your existence was not in vain. You have changed and touched the lives of many, mine included, and you will always be remembered. And although we haven’t been through much, thank you.
Thank you for opening my eyes, allowing me to realize how fragile life is. Thank you for showering everyone that surrounded you with love and care. Thank you for showing all of us the true meaning of strength. Thank you. Just thank you.
And while someone like me is deeply affected by your loss, I can only imagine how hurtful it is for those you were closest to. Best friends, family members. They have lost a big part of their lives when you left. To watch you grow into a strong woman must have been the biggest gift to them from Allah.
With a heavy heart, I watched your burial yesterday, knowing your family must have it harder for them. I cannot believe you are not here anymore. The hardest part about death is knowing that there will never be another chance to touch, see or talk to you again. But I truly believe that we will meet you again someday.
Your loss made me appreciate this life more, and I promise to treasure every day I have in honour of you. I will not let you down, Nash.
Every day, someone out there loses someone dear to them to cancer. While this saying is extremely cliche, it is true: Appreciate the ones you love while you still have the chance to. The people you love aren’t the only ones you should treasure, for you should love yourself too. There are people fighting for their life against cancer, and then there are those who simply want to commit suicide because of a petty reason.
When I knew you were sick Nashuha, never have you left my prayers. And the same probably goes for everyone else too. I think all of us prayed for your suffering to end.
And that was exactly what Allah has given us.
You have been strong for far too long, beautiful. But your battles are over now. The fight has ended. You can sleep now, and rest.
Semoga arwah ditempatkan bersama mereka yang beriman. Kita semua rindu Nashuha.